When it came to writing my first personal blog post I began to wonder if the no religion or politics rule only applied to the dinner table. Then I realised that if anyone even reads the post, I can’t please everyone. So, by way of a quick introduction to this blog, all I want is to write, provoke thought, create inspiration and spread happiness and positivity.

This current post is about something I’m sure many people feel at least once in their lives and that some people, like me, feel for years of their life. I simply hope that my experience will help someone in someway.

Happy Reading!

In January I travelled to Cyprus and spent 90 days there. I took the time off work and left my job, family and friends and life in general and spent some time alone. Moving to a country where you barely speak the language had its challenges but that’s another story. I was in Cyprus because I felt so lost and had been praying for years to be found. Throughout school and university I had followed a path. I had worked hard, studied hard and spent hard time and money – all to become a barrister. Despite being called to the Bar in 2010 I can’t practice because I don’t have pupillage. So, its five years later and I fear it won’t happen for me, I fear it’s no longer what I want. After following a path for so long and then finding that the path was slowly disappearing with every day that went by, it was unbearable. Having a career that I can be proud of, that makes me happy and makes me feel like I have a purpose has been so very important to me. I need a reason to get up everyday. If I have no one and nothing I will be fine if I have a career I love. I want to be someone.

After being in Cyprus for a few weeks, I was sitting in KFC using their wi-fi and as I looked out the window I saw a shop across the road in the distance. The sign looked like it said ‘Candy Doughnuts’ and I wondered why I had never explored that area. I had recently been feeling like I wanted to go for a walk but there didn’t seem to be much scenery around to entice me, so at that moment I thought ok, I’ll go and explore next time I feel like walking. (I stayed in Nicosia, so no beaches around).

The next day I woke up feeling a bit ‘meh’ and decided to go for that walk. Off I went, straight to the doughnut shop. It turned out the sign didn’t say ‘Candy Doughnuts’, it said ‘Candy Bouquets’. Silly me! But I continued walking and turned right at the candy shop. It was exciting. It was a new and completely different road to explore. Soon the pavement on the road I was travelling on stopped so I followed the man walking in front of me; left and then right. When I got to end of that road I looked left and in the distance, I thought I could see railings that looked like they could just be the entrance to a park. I really hoped it was.

It was a park! All those weeks I had been there and I had no idea this place existed. I actually felt hesitant about entering but I felt happy, like I’d struck gold. I followed a stone path straight ahead through the park. To the left there were little dirt paths that led to a children’s playground and clearings but I wanted to follow this path only. After about 10 minutes of pure joy, I could see a road up ahead. I didn’t want the path to end but it was. All the same I was so happy to have found this and I knew I would return. I couldn’t believe I had found it by accident. At the end of the path I looked around, to my left there was a dirt path and in front was a car park.

I walked towards the car park and the road ahead, I wanted to know where this path had led me. As I walked into the car park, I couldn’t believe my eyes but there was a man selling strawberries. I had wanted strawberries just the week before and now, this path that I had stumbled upon, led to strawberries. Was this really happening? I walked towards the road ahead, it was a really long road and I could have walked down it but I simply didn’t feel like it so I turned back and bought some strawberries.

I walked back to the stone path but I just wasn’t ready to go home, so instead I decided to walk along the dirt path. As I got to the end, there was a wooded area with more dirt paths. I saw a sign for an amphitheatre, in Greek of course, so I followed it and found a small round stone clearing with a tiny round stage and a semi-circle of steps about 10 steps high (pictured). Every inch was covered in graffiti. I climbed to the top and looked around. It wasn’t high but it was still a nice view. I took some pictures, there was a lot of greenery and the sun was shining.

I climbed back down and continued on my path. There were more paths leading to different clearings, some with tables and benches to sit on and others with little arty structures. I simply walked not really knowing where I was going but I continually made a mental note of my way back. There were benches everywhere but I didn’t feel like sitting. After a while of following the different paths I felt like I was ready to go home. I decided to see where my current path led then try to find my way back. I liked this path because it looked into the backs of houses and gardens. One even had a boat. Then I saw a path a lot like the original stone path I started my walk on. I thought there must have been a second path that ran parallel to the first one but as I neared the stone path I could not believe my luck. I had literally walked right back to the park entrance.

At that moment I felt like the luckiest person: I went for a walk and had wanted to find somewhere to have a nice stroll from time to time and I found a park in the middle of a bunch of back streets. After following the path I found a man selling nothing other than the strawberries I’d been craving. I didn’t want the walk to end and I found more paths to explore. Then when I was ready to go home I found myself back at the entrance to the park.

Could all of this have been a series of lucky coincidences? Maybe. But after feeling truly thankful and happy with what had happened in that hour and thinking about it throughout the day, I felt that I had been led me to that park. I felt like there was a bigger lesson to learn from my luck that day; that I no longer needed to feel lost.

At that moment I was reminded of a song I’d heard ten years ago while at university. I don’t remember the name of the song or the choir that sang it but I remember feeling uplifted by it and I never forgot about it. If I come across it again, I’ll let you know but a line from the song was, “Trust in the Lord and He shall direct thy path”. It felt so prominent at that moment.

Looking back over the last five years, I’ve learned that the worst thing about feeling lost is losing the desire to explore, veer off path and grab new opportunities to move forward. My life wasn’t going as planned and I stopped living my life to the full. My confidence and belief in myself began to slip away and soon I barely recognised the person in my mind. Whether this story reminds you that everything happens for a reason or that He is directing our paths, feeling lost is a state of mind that holds us prisoner. Next time you feel lost, break free and try doing something new or even just go for a walk, you never know where you may be led or what might be just around the corner.